So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
