Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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