she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
