the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I believe in your delicious
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
