white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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