Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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