Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
