Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize