Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
