i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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