I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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