i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
