I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
