Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize