wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
