If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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