There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
