I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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