They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
