ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
