they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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