I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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