North Korea, Best Korea!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
