If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
