maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
