Umm I'm too high to move.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
