hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
