It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
