a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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