I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dicks are not precious.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
