Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
