just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
