Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
