the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
