so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
