Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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