no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
