I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
