we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
wow bdsm is so cute
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
