Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Mom said you looked used
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
