Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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