Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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