My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
