I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
