she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
