Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
