operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize