And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
