Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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