my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think your dad took our porno
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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