I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
