Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
