I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
