Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
