I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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