If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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