are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
