i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
