Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yo dont text me then not text me
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
