I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
