i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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