the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
